Why am I angry?

Anger

The content of this article is based on my own personal experience with anger. so feel free to disagree with whichever contradicts your mind. 

This discussion is not supported by any scientific evidence, it's based on nothing but a personal experience. 

A perspective on anger.

Primarily, anger is a way to express complicated feelings, unresolved feelings and inner conflicts are major causes of anger, anger is an external reflection of internal unresolved feelings. it allows us to release our conflicted feelings, fundamentally, a great way to release those feelings. Our feelings are not the issue but the way they're expressed is. Anger is a natural emotion, it serves our needs to protect ourselves, which gives us the advantage of increasing our chances of survival, especially under life-threatening circumstances. 

Whereas the kind of anger our discussion revolves around in this article is the uncontrollable, abusive, and unnecessary aggressive behaviour, physically or verbally.

Repressed emotions

Repressed emotions are the emotions that have been kept away and locked up in the depths of our unconscious mind; especially the most intense ones. 

How and when do we repress emotions? why is it bad?

Before getting into our repressed emotions, we need to inquire about our vivid and dreadful childhood memories. Imagine memory as a series of scenes displayed in the form of images in our heads, these images are captured moments of past-lived experiences, thus collecting those images with the feelings attached to them, we often have better memories of the most intense past experiences, because images associated with intense feelings produce more vivid pictures, which later come back as memories or flashbacks of foregone experiences. Similarly, a childhood traumatic experience disrupts the child's emotional state by creating an awful memory that can stick with them for a lifetime if not properly dealt with ... During such a traumatic shock, the child undergoes physiological changes into being in a state of full alertness and heightened sensitivity, which greatly enhances his bodily senses in an attempt to survive, and that what makes it a powerful memory carrying complicated intense feelings, causing unpleasant and haunting emotions that can exploit the child's memory and shatter their feeling of safety. So the child's sense of security is torn apart. 

How awful such an experience can be to a kid! But it can actually turn into a source of empowerment in the long run. Now you might ask, how could something good come out of this? I would say that it opens up a gate to a whole new reality of life, where life exposes itself to you and greatly impacts your life onward, which makes it a transformative moment in life entitling us to face our fears. Hence the natural emotions that should have been expressed at the time of the traumatic shock have now been repressed, to never remember that painful experience ever again. 

Those emotions never cease to exist if not dealt with and handled properly, rather become chronic and even critical. The longer we repress our emotions the more aggressive they get. Our repressed emotions later turn into anger, constantly and periodically trying to find a way out, awaiting the right trigger to blow up. 

Resisting emotions 

The resistance happens the moment we consciously resist a naturally arising emotion, one of the reasons is the prejudice that we ought not to accept a certain emotion that is considered to be unconventional or socially invalid, thus creating internal conflicts underlying our true feelings vs our safety.  

In some cultures, anger is believed to be an essential quality the man has to have to express masculinity and dominance. To express that, the man must be proud of his anger because it depicts his capabilities and strengths, whereas in other cultures, exactly the opposite.

Emotions are contagious, they are easily transmitted from one individual to another, just like thoughts ... Most of the emotions you keep experiencing over and over again are mainly passed down to you from your parents. Parents not only teach their kids how to walk and eat but also teach them how to emote and behave on certain occasions, therefore "resisting emotions" is itself a behaviour, which can also be transmitted to others, especially the ones you're mostly influenced by, like your parents, thus you inherit the attitude of resisting your feelings. Initially, resistance starts with the belief that we mustn't act according to how we truly feel, but according to what's socially accepted. Our emotions rise up like zits pop up on the skin, the more you scratch the bigger they get. The longer you resist, the fiercer they get. 

│The harder you counterattack a particular unwanted feeling, the stronger it gets.  

How to break free from resisting emotions? This question is out of my league at the moment.

Fear of losing a belief 

Fear and anger are closely linked, fear generates anger as a response to a perceived threat or danger, yet aggressiveness can be easily misinterpreted as fearlessness. 

Fear is the outcome or the product of repressed and resisted emotions. 

Actually, fear awakens the anger within and acts as a guard to protect us from any potential harm, the danger or the threat isn't always physical, it can also be a threat to one's beliefs. Thus, aggression is like a protective shield that defends one's beliefs from all other incompatible beliefs, and this is the core point of this discussion. Haven't we witnessed that already! As "social human beings"  we have done all sorts of terrifying, horrible, and murderous acts in order not to discharge and let go of a particular belief. However, that doesn't mean that we should keep ourselves unprotected from external believed-to-be harmful influences, rather approach our problems with alertness and awareness.

Psychologically speaking, The highly protective, fearful, and ill-tempered people will always get into trouble, wherever they go and whatever they do, they seem to create conflicts with whoever they meet, and they have taken nervousness, anxiety, and mistrust as habits. 

To understand the psychology of the ill-temperament caused by fear, here is a briefing.

How do we distinguish the behaviour of the ill-tempered? The ill-tempered seem to lack the ability to control their emotions, they fail to understand other people's perspectives, because they come to conclusions about everything really quickly, without analyzing and thinking about the reasons causing the encountered problems, they don't take the time to formulate the most sensible reaction, that wouldn't cause further damage or at least minimize the risk of causing any potential harm to others or oneself. Usually, there is a moment of silence before the ill-tempered get outrageous and begin blasting out their long-repressed unpleasant emotions onto everybody around, because, during that silence, there is a critical ongoing debate inside their head; conflicting thoughts and mixed up emotions are battling, held for not so long before the repressed emotions explode into anger. 

Suppose you're fighting with your partner over something that really gets on your nerves and you just can't seem to understand their unexplainable and irresponsible annoying behaviour. 

what would you do in such a condition?

If you could fully understand the motives, reasons, and the current emotional state of the individual you're arguing with, how would you react to that disagreement? would you try to solve it rationally or violently?

The key to understanding your uncontrolled aggression lies within your ability to deeply and non-judgmentally observe your feelings and their consequences when applied. Managing anger is a gradual process that requires commitment and dedication to maintain one's inner workings.

And last but not least, thanks for reading my article, and don't forget to leave your thoughts down in the comment section ^_^.